David Bowie - The Laughing Gnome
I was walking down the High Street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (Hello)
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (Cor)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)
Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office
(Gnome Office?)
Yes
(Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Said the laughing Gnome
Well I gave him roasted toadstools
And a glass of dandelion wine (Burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
(Haven't you got a light boy?)
"Here, where do you come from?"
(Gnome-man's land, ha-hi-hi-hi)
"Oh, really"
In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He'd bought him along to sing me a song
Right, let's hear it
Here, what's that clicking noise?
(That's Fred, he's a "metrognome", ha-ha)
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
(Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha)
"Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?"
(No, we're gnomads)
"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school? you look like a Rolling Gnome"
(No, not at the London School of Ecognomics)
Now they're staying up the chimney
And we're living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
'Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
It's the-er (what?)
It's the Gnome Service of course
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha-ha-ha, oh, dear me
(Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
(One more time, yeah)
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More lyrics by
David Bowie
'Tis A Pity She Was A Whore
Absolute Beginners
Ashes To Ashes
Black Tie White Noise
Blackstar
Blue Jean
Boys Keep Swinging
Cat People
Changes
China Girl
Day-In Day-Out
Dollar Days
Drive-In Saturday
Fame
Fame '90
Fashion
Girl Loves Me
Golden Years
Hallo Spaceboy
Heroes
I Can't Give Everything Away
John, I'm Only Dancing
Jump They Say
Lazarus
Let's Dance
Life On Mars
Little Wonder
Loving the Alien
Modern Love
Real Cool World
Rebel Rebel
Rock 'N' Roll Suicide
Slow Burn
Sorrow
Sound And Vision
Space oddity
Starman
Sue (or In A Season Of Crime)
Suffragette City
The Jean Genie
The Laughing Gnome
This Is Not America
Thursday's Child
TVC15
Under Pressure
Young Americans
Ziggy Stardust